Saw something disturbing but funny today on my journey. Something that caused me to cringe as my stomach when you know you have to go but you have to hold it for two more hours..your butt cheeks all tight while your bum hole is wet and praying that no one makes you laugh or you have to cough.


The sight was so disturbing that I felt I had to stop and ask WTF you doing with that on. But I didn’t and I was proud I didn’t. For I’m not the one who can hide my emotions or thoughts well, my face always seems to give it away before as if it truly have a mind of it’s own. I can recall several times thinking “Don’t answer that question truthfully as it would hurt this dummy’s feeling.” But before I can answer my WTF facial expression have already made it’s début. So by time I answer the person have already become defensive and then some still don’t even get it.


But anyway, what I was originally talking about..oh yeah the disturbing thing.. I was talking about.


Well today was going well for me, until I was harmed by this sight..I’m doing my thing helping the good, saving the world (least this is what I feel I’m doing.. for today anyway) then it hit me.. driving down the road and I was blindsided by the Great White Hope.  What’s the Great White Hope?


Well it’s the belief that some have, that if they think they look good in it other’s will think they look good too, that someone will find them very attractive, talk to them, and shower them with undying attention. But what they fail to realize that this rarely..I mean rarely every happens and when it does.. that attention is not about them but what psychotic medication the attention givers not on.


My Great White Hope was a young lady who felt that the tighter her clothing the smaller she really was.  I’m pretty sure she purchased the clothing that way, if not whoever sewed the tags in them lied too her..and she needed to go get her money back.  This lady was in a shiny grey body suit (material unknown), that revealed everything..and I mean everything..even while driving you could see parts of the lady anatomy that only a trained OBGYN should be able to see. And to make it worst, not only was the suit shiny, tight and too little, she was not in the best shape (ok I’m being polite). She was fat. I don’t know how the material contained it all, but the hills, valleys and rolls were impressive and would be a great ski vacation.  She was dolled up too..grey shoes, make up and purse to match.  While I was pondering how she was able to do this, I couldn’t help but feel that life can not be fair for her and she must not have a friend in the world. For if she did they really failed her.


Now I’m a true believer of a person wearing what they want, I’m for self expression, being proud of what your mama gave you and shake it if you want too. But there is a thing called common sense and for those who don’t know..I have a few tips for ya..


  1. If you think to yourself..”Does this make me look fat?”-IT does and do NOT wear it.
  2. If you are shaped like the letter D, wearing a tight top or bottom that divides you in two does not make it any better-you then look like the Letter B


  1. Wearing things that compliment your body = wearing clothes that flow with your body size, take the time to look at it from a distance-the full mirror not just your bust-remember we see all of you


  1. Just because a model wears it, does not mean that you can wear it-remember they are MODELS


  1. Jeans are meant to be pulled down not peeled off-except if they were really painted on


  1. Your underwear are meant to be seen and if you can’t see yours and your wearing them..they are too little or you need to lie down


  1. Shiny things really do attract sea gulls, criminals, and cops so be careful


  1. Butt crack is not sexy on anyone..even IF your tramp stamp is showing


  1. Fashion magazines are for your pleasure not a guide for clothes..if you compare you’ll notice that the models don’t look like you


Hope this helps..whatcha think?


The Jadedoughnut