Wow!!..Night already and I’m finally able to write down a few thought of mine…been a few weeks and I have a lot of them going on in my head…and I will let them old thought go but as of now I’m feeling a little doughnutish today…I explain “doughnutish” is a the feeling you get when feel that life haven’t given you all the information when dealing with a situation; therefore, leaving you with a large hole in the middle”…Only problem with me is when I get this way..I tend to embrace it and fall within the hole…

Why do I feel this way today?…well today I was presented with an unknown but one that causes me to rethink my view of myself…I consider myself a very rounded individual…I don’t consider myself better than ten the next doughnut, bagel, pretzels, biscuits, or sweet tart I deal with; but lately with all the media attention to the difference of us all, the feeling we have when dealing with differences and the treatments of such difference, I makes me wonder…Do I hate and don’t really want to say I do…

I know I like being around those like me…shoot doughnuts sell better as a dozen then single…but is my preference due to my natural want to be around pastries who are like me or is this just what I think I want to do…reason I say that is I often feel funny around other doughnuts…like they know I’m not really one of them…wonder what they are thinking, feeling and what they say about me when I leave…then to make It worst, I find myself talking about them as well…about how they should know better, how dressing up doesn’t change the fact that they are doughnuts and always will be…does this make me a doughnut hater?

When around others, not like me…I feel funny…I watch and wait, but often try to catch them of guard and mentally attack them, so that I can always seem ahead, even though I quite feel that I’m behind…This helps me support or justify my dislike, but also helps me understand those I’m really trying to understand…Is it a nice thing? Probably not, but I don’t care…It’s about me and my ability to understand the world and the pastries around me…

With the steady destruction of others, it’s easy to become desensitized. This is my problem I feel, but when I was presented with the idea that one of my fellow doughnuts wanted to go to Pakistan to study new found religion, my mind automatically went to training camps and self destruction….I feel I was wrong for the assumption and don’t really this is what the goal is for the visit; however, this stupid hole in me (JD) is say you know this is or what is going on with him….I honestly know all Muslims aren’t terrorist and for me to even think this is wrong…I hate stereotypes, and I know better than to do this, but I find myself doing this more lately…saw a lady today dressed very ..Let’s say…”loose” and the first thing pops in my mind is prostitute…was I right? No….well least I think no..I didn’t ask her…either way I was wrong…and being in my profession know better…then to draw conclusions from simple glances without getting information

When I think about it, I don’t hate…pastries….I just dislike people…people have a way of getting things wrong, passing judgments, and not trying to fix things…while pastries are too busy trying to live and not get eaten up by the people of society…So what I have to do is to stay a doughnut, a little jaded and let things “ride it out”…because life usually fix itself one way or another..

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