Now…I have considered myself making right decisions, like to have the Doughnut Holes young….Well, I guess to make the Doughnut Holes young, would be the best way to say that, as I can’t have anything…So today, as I was getting dressed it dawned on me..I have a real teenager…a high school Doughnut Hole who will be exploring life, wanting to learn how to drive, wanting to go out on dates, wanting to do things I prefer she wait for, but I have no real control over if she does or not, and wanting to be “herself” in this ever evolving world…

These thought makes me sad…not because she will be leaving me (really can’t wait to get the home empty, running around naked in your home is so cool…if you haven’t tried it…you should)… My sadness is from the point that she continues to get older and so do I…I’m developing aches and pains, old man belly itch, and unexplained irritability…I hate it, don’t understand it, and love it all at the same time…Also teenagers cost SO much money..it’s like another infancy stage to me…that is also time when the Doughnuts Hole just eat, drink, and poop my money away, without any real return for me…I know I should want to invest in them  and sure they grow, and stuff, but who really benefits from that? They do!….Sure I can get a tax deduction for them..(least for now I can, beware the 2012 fiscal cliff)…but that doesn’t change the fact of the cost…Now I’ve been told…”You shouldn’t have them if you don’t want them. You knew they would cost and blah, blah, blah”…And I agree that I knew the price of child rearing…but that still doesn’t remove the want of cheap child related things…

Wouldn’t it be great if you could receive Being A Parent Discount on all the children related items in the stores…and the more children you have the bigger the discount…For I’m investing in the future, so I should be rewarded…Right?…And the better quality of my offspring, like honor roll, no juvenile delinquent behaviors, audio and visual pleasing….the bigger the discount would be and this would stack with long relationship discounts for those happy couples as well…I can see it now…Walking down the aisles at my favorite stores calm, soothing, shopping music playing over the loud speakers….getting half off for this, sixty percent off  for that, and for those real important thing…only ninety nine cents…And after I finished by shopping experience, I would be greeted by a nice customer loving cashier…who would greet me with

“Hello Mr. Doughnut. What can I get for your today?” Or “How was your shopping experience?”  And “I can see that you took advantage of the children going to bed early discount. That was quite the steal, but a well earned one for your part”….I would smile and look at the parents behind me in line who didn’t receive such great discounts. knowing that they would be envious of my great fortune and child rearing skills…But I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only one, I’d expect it would be several people utilizing this new service their children qualified them for…For who doesn’t like a deal?…

But that isn’t the case and there aren’t any discounts, so I’m forced to reality…the high prices of this gadgets or that fad as she is trying to maintain a level popularity or social life…that as a loving parent you suppose to support…Right? ..And that they (she included)  will thank me later and when I’m really up in age…will decide not to pawn me off to some nursing care center and visit me maybe three times a year (Father’s day, Birthday and Christmas)..But until that time, I will continue to struggle to get her what she needs and few things she want, provide her with challenges, and opportunities to make mistakes so that we (Sweet Tart and I) can uses these as discipline moments…Besides, the time will come when they house is empty and I will be laughing as the money collects in the bank, while my late reproducing family and friends are struggling to keep up with their technologically advanced, pocket draining, vacuum gutted young ones, while also trying to keep them happy and fulfilled.. I feel I have made the correct decision by starting young, I have the energy to deal with the struggle, the time to listen to the stories, and the tenacity to do it over and over again…Plus who does not like running through the house naked?

Advertisements