Category: Dough Nuts


Santa have come and gone…leaving behind wrapped presents, cookie crumbs and empty glasses
The pitter patter of feet running down the halls, looking, waiting, whispering in anticipation as they see what Santa has delivered and now want to open it
The Holes have torn holes into Santa’s delivery, making sure that he did not error in his delivery because he only come once a year… so no take backs if he got it wrong…Luckily for them we (Sweet Tart and I) always keep extra batteries and “receipt” tape for such needed corrections..
Trying or “testing” each and every one of them makes for a long day, but the Holes explain to me that they enjoy this part of the day…new toys to play with and so many at once…
Visiting Grandma’s for tummy stuffing and more gifts because the Holes know Santa doesn’t visit Grandma’s home…”She does not have any children at her house”….But a gift is a gift, so they don’t care..
Opening presents that are more clothing than toys can be disappointing, but they dare not say…as Grand’s presents are wrapped with care…and her wrath is distributed with care as well
Tummies are stuffed with holiday foods of cornbread dressing, turkey, ham, a variety of vegetables, cake, pies and plenty of things to wash it all down…
Games are played to entertain…fighting can occur, but trash talking is more likely…Plus, have to train for conflict resolution one way or the other..Right?…
Sleep take over the little one first, as Santa has wore her out…Will he get the others?
Only time can tell and I hear he keeps secrets pretty well…
Today was a good day and though tomorrow brings work and pain…I was glad to have today…As Memories are all we have to keep us sane…

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Am I..Nope..I’m A Doughnut

 

Am I a dreamer for wanting things to be fair?

Am I a little delusional for wanting life to be free?

Am I off my rocker for loving things that are a little weird?

Am I offensive for wishing people could just expand gas in public and embrace it?

Am I the One who should be stoned if I feel a higher being does not exist?

Am I demon possessed if I like the same sex?

Am I filled with gas if I feel that the world is going to H-E Double L in a hand basket?

Am I spazzed out if I feel everyone..I mean everyone deserve the right to be human to their level of understanding?

Am I a moron if I hope that the aliens don’t eat my brain with they come in 2012 so I wear a aluminum helmet because aliens are allergic to it…so I believe

Either way I don’t care Cause I’m ME…Round, jaded, holey, and sprinkle free…and as long as I’m Happy I can be free..

Anyway… who wouldn’t think a talking Doughnut is interesting anyway

Think I heard or read that the dream is the window into the unconscious mind…well I feel that this maybe true for some, but since Doughnuts don’t sleep, it’s must be more of a window into the hole in my middle…I don’t like going there, but today I feel that I will… Looking deep into the hole I have came across a weird vision..one that disturbs me now even though I feel that I have grasped the meaning of it…but tell me what do you think..

 

..OK, the vision begin with me standing in a field…a field of swaying grass, gold, brown, and yellow stalks move gracefully in the wind, bowing and bending…left…the right…the left…the wind felt good to me and the sun felt even better…I suddenly felt hungry…a deep hunger, one that I felt would take a great deal of food to satisfy…but there was nothing around me to eat, nothing but grass..and that wasn’t going to happen…But then I saw it..a pair of large ears, a tiny nose, a solid black eye…a rabbit.”Yes!” I thought,” I can devour this rabbit and be filled”…So I began to chase it…I guess the rabbit didn’t want to be eaten so he ran, darting left and right, underneath rocks, logs and bushes trying to get away from me, but I was relentless…and motivated..by the hunger, I felt…I finally caught the rabbit…his little heart beating rapidly..fear in it little eyes, but I didn’t care…I actually love it, watching his little heart pound, smelling his fear…I smiled at it and then I devoured it all…it was good, but not satisfying…I wanted more…So I looked for more…I found more…chasing and devouring rabbits like a rabid beast, blood staining my tops, sprinkles gone…the more I chased, the more I ate, the hungrier I became…I then noticed that as I gave chase I was being pursue myself..by a beast, long claws, fangs and a tail, running on all fours, panting  and smiling a large toothy smile…He growled and howled as he tried to catch me…so I thought…I soon figured I was competing with this creature for the same food,  I could have shared my kills but I didn’t, but why would I? I don’t owe him anything…Finally I found myself in the cold, butt freezing snow.. thigh deep to me….I wanted to stop chasing but I couldn’t, I was so hungry…and the rabbits were SOO good…I gave chase to a small shack, burden with the weight of the snow..but inside the shack was large …it was cold inside, but the rabbit was there…I could smell it…My mind was racing, trying to pinpoint its exact location,  i heard movement, found the rabbit and pounced on it, but before I devoured it this time I looked and saw that it was not a rabbit but me…This shocked me and I stood there staring..then suddenly the door of the shack opened and the  beast caught up with me..and before he could speak I woke up…I know it’s weird…but what do you think this means?

I like surprises…Well most surprises…Not the ones where you are caught with your pants down, or you come home and a lovely visitor is there…Someone you really would not like to see…and especially not spending some time with…But this not one of these times…this was what would fall into the good category….This day I received a call…a call I was not ready to received, but was glad it was made…You see, I started talking about Liver an Onion a few post back…and today I was notified that I was going to receive a new Liver…Well Liver was going to get a new liver…Since Doughnuts don’t have livers…Either way, that was the news and I was surprised…Now I felt we would be ready for such news but…hmm quickly realized that I wasn’t and Liver and Onion surely wasn’t…I thought he was (told me he was)…but when the decision was needed…he was really more hesitant than I thought he would be…Shit, if I needed new fillings to be here (pointing to injecting site)..I’m like “fill me up”…But I am different…so I’m told…So after discussing with Liver and Onion about the pros and cons, awaiting on another explanation from the doctor…and not listening to Onion’s reasoning for not doing it..Liver gave the ok…Now this is where the wave of thoughts flooded my brain…tsunami style…Am I ready for this? What do I suppose to do now? You want… who to go with us? I don’t have time for babysitting…please be grown up today.

 

After making arrangements for overnights for Onion, cause she couldn’t dare ask her onion seeds to let her stay at his home, making arrangement for the holes to stay with Mom…and the Sweet Tart joining me for support, we were off…the ride was quite different…two hours of silence, thought provoking conversation and enjoying NPR (National Public Radio)…Right?…Nope!…They talked, and discussed all types of things..some made me laugh, others made me wonder, but hey this could be Liver’s last day so I will not complain…

 

Then once we get there we receive another surprise, I hate these…the hurry up and wait surprise…Huh?  Why did you have me rush only to wait…don’t you understand that waiting is the worst part of anything…the anticipation, the unknown, the feeling of anger that builds while others go before you….”Will you hurry the fuck up already!!!” I’ve got things to do…Sheesh..He’s dying right here (big finger pointing over his head)…so what that pale, fragile looking, hairless girl’s here for the same reason…It my Liver! Damn It!! And I need service NOW!”…Ok, these thoughts did fill my mind, but I’m to smooth or have too much swagger to say them out loud…I have to be civilized…Right?…after a hour or so of waiting…lost track after they changed shifts..We were admitted to a room…Then the real reason I was placed on this Earth revealed itself…I was here to be aggravated by Onion…who not only have degrees in every know science there is..She’s also is a specialist in men’s health (read one old book), internal medicine…Especially concerning the Liver…Onion not only aggravated the living hell out of me….she stunk up the place with her constant peeling, and peeling and peeling..”The nurses didn’t know what they were doing because they used the measurement MG versus CC…The PA.. poor, clueless, lady was trapped underneath the layer of hypothetical, unrelated and absurd accusation..The more she tried to get away by answering Onion’s question, or using superior customer service skills, the more Onion peeled on her..I finally had enough and released her..and she literally ran out of the room..Being who I am, I trying to justify Onion’s actions…Why is she acting like this? Don’t she understand EVERYONE…family and friends are just concerned about Liver as she is…if something goes wrong… she lose a husband…(had two before, plus you threaten to leave him so many times before)..But I will lose… My Liver…I have been here a lot longer than you..So stop acting so irrational, unstable and plan Loco…

 

Well after all the fiasco was over…I finally was able to find out some serious things about my Liver wishes. That I thought I knew already…DNR (do not resituate) was not his plan…as long as he can return like himself…keep him alive, otherwise let him go…It was hard to hear this..but hey it’s his life..and only a Liver right? …So now w e wait…and wait…family member come by, others call to send their best wishes..Face Book and other social media filling up…well wisher galore…this also was a surprise for Liver..he also though no one gave a Damn about him..only a selected few..but now he was able to see he had a purpose..or lest meant something to people…Getting flowers while you are alive is a great joy…The waiting went on for several more hours (4 am in the morning to be exact)…then found out we were literally waiting someone to pass so that Liver can get a new one…Death..waiting on you to claim your victim..so we can avoid you once more…Well Death claimed his victim and…shorted us also…”The liver was not suitable”..and we had to go home…Sigh!!..Damn!!…Onion was so glad, I was not..I’m not wanting things to get worst for him and then we watch him die slowly..I know how that is..Uncle Chunk taught me this…But hey, that the way the Doughnut crumbles and I know now I must obtain a medical power of attorney for Liver…Since Onion’s focus is on herself and not reality…

“The week goes by fast when your having fun”…least what I was told…And I am beginning to believe that this is quite true…But then I was told that “it’s not going faster, I’m just moving slower”…that the older you get the faster the time appears to trickle away…Well ain’t that just dandy…another reason why I do not like getting older…So today’s dozen is about why I don’t like getting older, old things including people and many more “aging things”…

 

  1. Loss of Hair…the crown or glory as some call it….it’s a blessing, a sign of youth…you can style it, dye it and it beckons….makes a statement, but as you get older, it seems to loose it’s luster and fall out more…I think this because I have notice more male and female pattern baldness then I’m happy to acknowledge…and no matter how you try to fluff it out, comb it over…everyone can still see your bald head..
  2. Saggy Skin…I was told that this would come when I ate too much and then loss weight quickly, or stop going to the gym…well I have notice a lot of saggy skin on old people…the flabby skin folds that dangle from different body parts are not attractive…and gives me shivers when they touch me during granny’s embrace…
  3. Eh!”,  “Whatcha say?”, “Can you repeat that?”….The loss of hearing is something I’m really not looking forward too either…I know years of cochlea vibrations, Q-Tip swabbing, and loud, thumping music didn’t help much, but constant repeating myself doesn’t help either…
  4. “Who are you? Come a little closer please?”…No! I don’t want to come closer to you, sorry you can’t see me…but that’s what happens when you get old…heavy eye staring, long hours at work or television watching is a way to really ruin your eyes… maybe it’s the constant bombardment of butt crack, and undergarment from sagging pants is the real culprit
  5. Bad Odor…Ok, is it just me or do older things just smell funny?…Not funny Ha..Ha…but funny bad…like a different, unpleasant smell…from flowers, to people…old stuff smell funny….and what I find weird is that the older you get, the more pleasant the funny smell becomes…
  6. Beer…Unlike wine…Beer doesn’t taste better the older it gets…aged beer taste like bitter bath water (don’t ask)…just believe me it do…best beer is cold…fresh from the tap…
  7. Stress…I hate this with a  passion…and guess what I learned? It causes aging….I know this is true cause I look at people I work with daily  and they look “old as hell” no matter how much make up they use to hide it…
  8. Elderly Drivers…Ok..I know some would say this is a stereotype, because their grandmother is a “speed demon.”  Maybe your grandmas is, but 99% of the others aren’t and after watching the little old couple hold traffic up on the interstate as I was traveling, while their right blinker was on…I feel this is true…I really feel we should retest our elder drivers so that they can keep their license..
  9. Stories Tellers…I love stories…”new ones”…but I have been caught in the loop of a story by my elders and I think this is a shared experience…How you can tell if a loop have occurred is as the story is being delivered, the recipient continues to stare, eyes glazed over, mouth agape while each word slowly and carefully escapes the story teller’s mouth…I try not to get into those situations by avoiding the storyteller at all cost…
  10. Speed Deficient….I know this is true…as I have slowed down…I recall sprinting, jumping, and playing ball all in the same stride…if I try that now…I’ll be laying on the ground, mimicking Red Fox…”warning  Elizabeth”…I watch them and now realize that they can not help it, but still don’t like it
  11. Stomach Problems…I really hate this about getting old…I use to pride myself in the “cauldron” I use to call my stomach, I could mix and toss all kind of things in there and keep going…now it’s more like a small clay pot…easily cracked, and can’t hold things too hot or too cold without consideration
  12. Reliability…No matter how much we want to think that old things will always be there…the truth is…they won’t…not that they don’t want too…it just the way it is…reliable at first…but will eventually let you down
  13. Death…The worst things about being old or having something that is old…is that it will eventually stop working…Death will come and take what’s his and all you can do (unless your what’s Death’s after) is to get something knew or move on to something better…either way it Sucks..

Well I tell people often…least if they ask…that I do not like old people and things…but now I’m becoming one…Slow, and Senile…But enjoying every minute of it…So get off my lawn…and let me have the fast lane

Ever sit and think about the amount of time that past…each second, minute, hour, and day…

Time only is as important as the person that keeping it…for a second can be forever, while a day is a mere thought…

Time became an important subject for me today as I confront my inner self…The Jaded One…

Often engaging in conversations with him can be quite the trip…for he is an elusive one he is…always trying to get me into trouble…through means that I have picked up by dealing with others…like today….

I was doing my regular thing, working, talking to myself and watching the words appear on the screen when he start his mischief…

JD: So whatcha doing?

RD: You know what I’m doing…don’t start with me today

JD: What do you mean? I haven’t did anything…only asked a question..

RD:I know that, but your questions lead to other things…last time you asked a question I ended up in trouble and I’m not looking for that today…so leave me be..

JD: Wow! Can’t even ask a question now days without it starting a war with you…you know your such a jerk sometimes..

RD: Jerk?! I’m not a jerk I just don’t have time for your foolishness today…I have a deadline and no one is hear to bother me…so go away!

JD:..OK!, Ok!..

RD: you gone…

JD:……..

RD: Good…now where was I?

JD: talking about that lady you saw the other day…

RD: What?!!  I was talking about some lady….Shit! Now I just dictated that…

JD: “Laughs”

RD: That shit isn’t funny…Leave me be!…I told you I have a deadline to make….

JD: She was a work wasn’t she?

RD: Huh? Whatcha talking about

JD: That lady? The one from yesterday..

RD: What are you talking about…I told you I have not seen a lady the other day

JD: Oh…Maybe it was a man then..

RD: “Ha, Whateva” I got to get back to work..

JD: Yeah! Whateva… I got betta things to do…Talk to you lata sucka…”laugher trails off”

RD: Sucka…Wait!….Damn, he gone and left ..Oh well, now I can get some work done…

What time is it…”looking at the clock on the screen”…What?!! 11:32am..it was just 9:15am..Where all my time go….

JD: “Snickers”..

Woah!!..2011 already gone and what a year have it have been for The JD…I recall last year this time I was not as vocal  as I am and was involved with a different source of entertainment. This absorbed a lot of my time and cost me a lot. But this with the help of the boredom and motivation from the Sweet Tart, I regained control of my life and moved forward. Now I’m free allowing myself and another outlet for my jaded thoughts and random processing. I am glad there are some that follow me and listen to what I have to say, and glad there are those who do not know what I think as this may cause some problems. Either way hindsight is always 20/20 and I’m glad I am able to make it through the year and looking forward to a better 2012.

Well, I suppose to make a new goal or goals for the year to come…So I have been thinking about this for a while and since I’m working to make things better at the home, my 2012 resolution will be to make this year be the best year for my family. I plan to stay active in their lives, spend more time with the Sweet Tart, give each Doughnut Hole attention as this is need to ensure their wellbeing. I  also plan to work on improving myself, this will be through employment, spirituality and health. I want need a new job that I really enjoy. I feel I have given back enough to my community in my current field. The level of appreciation I receive now is great, but I do want to do something different.  I want to start on a book and ensure closure to the current work I am dealing with.

I know these things can be accomplished as long as I do what is required of me, make tough decisions and keep up the faith. It have been a please 2011 and I want to be a superb 2012. See you on the other side and remember..Don’t look in the Doughnut Hole as you may fall in.

Once again I am bothered by the simple thought pattern of men…not as a humanity but as a gender…I had the honor to take the pops on a trip today…he was with his spouse who is a very sweet lady and they are prefect for each other to me….we were discussing things in general….he was entertaining me with his stories of old, quick wit, and life quotes…. then he begin the topic about pus and how men are straight stupid when it comes to it… I laughed as he gave several examples of what his “old cats” (dead now) did to protect it and to get it… I thought about this and decided to share…

Now, I feel that women should really be ruling the world now, based on the way men act about pus…the power it have over majority of men is quite disturbing…that southern region appears to cause the blood to stop flowing upstairs and all logic processing  stops…and with logic stopping the odds of making the correct decision is like picking the correct numbers for the lottery..

One example pops shared was….about one of his cats…he explained that cat were out to the club, dancing, drinking and trying to find some pus…apparently this is what they did as youth (hmm sound like what we do now). So he spotted this fine brood sitting at the bar and he approached her and he began to spit game to her….she liked what he was saying and he was feeling her…he then begin buying her drinks and blowing his wad on her…but what he didn’t noticed was that the brood was with someone…and this someone didn’t appreciate his advances on his pus…now this guy was HUGE.. the way pops explain it…a “Green Mile” size fellow…now of course he requested the cat to stop flapping his gums…but this was not computing, as the cat had invested two things, his time and his money…Now logic would have the fellow size up the situation and he would back down and leave…but firewater, a lack of blood to the brain, and the possibility of getting some pus…made the decision for him…the cat stood up to him and…the way pops described it…the spot left where the young man was sitting was made empty really quick and they had to peel him off the floor…

I asked, “Were there other women there?”

“What do you think?” he answered…

We laughed and I shook me head…”So you telling me that guy got his ass handed to him over the possibility of getting some?!”

… “Yep”

He then told me about a guy he knew, who had a woman that he was so in love with the pus, that he worked three jobs,  just to keep her around…buying her stuff, getting her whatever she wanted…he explained the sad thing was that the pus was out letting every, Tom Dick and Harry, tap it while the guy was at work…He worked so much that he was too tired to handle his own business…

I asked, ” Were you one of those fellows?”

He laughed…”Nope, I don’t go down like that”

Do I believe him…Naw…but I wasn’t there so I can argue the point…I just felt sad for the fool who was working to provided a home for other to come too, food for others to eat and pus for others to tap…like I stated earlier if the blood was going to the top head…he would have realized this and stopped, but pus don’t let you think..

He shared a story about how a guy was so attached to this one lady that he neglected his family, friends, and all others to keep the pus pleased….he explained that this strong jealousy made him extremely paranoid…that he didn’t trust anyone and this led to him taking another guy’s life…According to him, he was at work and got wind that the pus was out shopping around and bumped into an old friend. The guy confronted the friend and he was strapped when he did….words were exchanged and one person ended up dead…The guy’s in the “chain gang” and the pus moved on…

“Wow!” I responded…”Such as dumb ass.. I hate when guys kill over it, when they go to jail…nine times out of ten, the pus move on”

But this was not the 1st guy to kill over it, from the Bible…”King David sent Bathsheba’s husband to the die. So he can have her free.  The Trojan War was started over it.. know it stated it was her face, but I know the real reason…what “face” that body was connected to…

When I really think about it…It DOES control the world…for without it we wouldn’t be here, it is the gate way to life, the fun hole, the beaver, the love tunnel, the bread box, a cold cut combo, a money maker, a fire starter, and fire extinguisher, can be the best negotiator, or instigator to name only a few.  I have never met one that isn’t taken if offered up even when it is sick and/or bleeding.

So if you lucky to have one…take care of it….for you don’t someone else will…If you are a guy, then stop appreciate it, but keep your blood upstairs…

Am I Crazy? Some times I wonder if the voices in my head are an inspiration or a curse….they often come to  me when I am not thinking, filling my head with noise….so forcing myself to focus on a task that I feel is important to me make it clearer…Although, sometimes I hear jokes and other days only whispers…whispers of naughty things that I was told was wrong to do or say, but they can say them anyway….

 

Am I Crazy? To wonder what makes my blood red while I see the blue veins instead…though I’m told that oxygen turn the blood red, is it possible to actually bleed blue? He states…” I can,” but I’m scared…scared that I may bleed blue and then once again go back…I WILL never go back….It’s dark there…

 

Am I Crazy? Or just a little weird, that I think death is funny but birth is sad…that each person born requires another to die, so that the circle of life is complete…are they right when they whisper to me, that if I stab her she will scream, but only for a few seconds…for then she will bleed blue…

 

Am I Crazy? or more insane for the voices repeat themselves, but they are saying different things….they sounds as one, as they tell of his coming…he will return and with it…shall cause fire and brimstone to fall….Will you be ready or will you stand in the rain with an umbrella…

 

Am I Crazy? If I think people would make great pets as long as you feed them, walked them, and give them what the want most of the time…If not they would turn on you and devour you, cracking your bones for it’s marrow, just as the dogs do…they say human meat is sweet…but I wouldn’t know…or would I…

 

I Am Crazy…I know this is true as the pills keep them away…make them sleep so I can play…I can function as others do…drive a car, go to school, get married and have kids too…just because I am crazy doesn’t mean I don’t deserve the right to live, to be free…to vote and be seen…I only want what others want…to dream

Ok! Time for another Doughnut’s Dozen. See if you can help me develop more things for the list. Feel free to add more in comments..

 

  1. Don’t have to work that day-Why? Cause a guy sailed across the ocean to claim land that belong to someone else, so we get to stick to the man also by getting paid to stay at home and claim what’s “rightfully” ours
  2. Columbus was one of the first guy to pull a Debo: Taking someone else’s shit and dare them to say something-Well, I doubt he could understand what they said anyway
  3. Would not have this school rhyme with out him, “In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue-helped me passed that history quiz
  4. FDR made it official-Any holiday FDR made official….Got to be cool right?
  5. No gift requirements– Finally!!! A cheap holiday-can’t think of many fights happening due to forgetting the present or getting the wrong thing
  6. No Mail today equal no chance of receiving a bill or junk mailLike I need another bill notice
  7. We get to celebrate the darkness in humanity-nothing like knifing, slicing, enslaving,  exploiting, and demoralizing people, so that we can have what we have today. But hey?! We did a great job here inAmerica!!
  8. No parades, No candy to toss, No costumes to buy, No family members to come over and increase your household expenses, No special food to eat for superstitions  reason, No eggs to decorate or hide,  No late night gift wrapping-Ahhh…an antisocial, fugal, rational, lazy man’s holiday
  9. It doesn’t screw with my television shows-I can watch Judge Mathis now
  10. Who can’t like a Holiday with a guy with a cool hat -I wonder can you still get one?
  11. We get to celebrate a Mistake-See!!!…Some mistakes ARE good ones…so go hug yours
  12. We get to spend time with our children, well if you get it off-Nothing like family bonding over a game of UNO
  13. It’s the only federal holiday not celebrated by all states of America-Way to go. Show our rebellious, independent, and self righteous ways; by not celebrating the day the country you live in was founded..