Category: Fillings


Please get out of my head!

Please get out of my mind!

I’m sitting in this room.

I’m sitting all the time.

 

I document all that I see.

I write it as it told to me.

I feel that all is lost

‘Cause many don’t understand the cost.

 

The cost to speak freely

The cost to be me

A round jaded pastry

Who soon will be free?

 

I feel the race is won

So I sit

And So I stare

I stare at all that been done,

 

My friends tell me that I’m doing,

Good- by all who knows

But how good will that be?

If they really knew who run the show

 

If they really understood the plan

If they wanted to lend a hand

They would seek me some help

And not consider me a nut

For I’m a perfectly, round Jaded Doughnut

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The recent deaths of the people in Connecticut…forced me to think…and although it maybe it’s a little strange to think about, but I wonder why? Not the why it happened…cause that I wonder too, but the why would I…So today’s Dozen will be such an answer…Well what I would consider possible answers to Why would someone would do such a thing…

  1. Spoiled-Our society today condones, actually      rewards this type of behavior…We as Americans not only get what we need      but what we want most of the time as well…Yes! I know this our right…we      feel we earned it, or we deserve it…but being spoiled also mean just      that…Spoiled…which leads      to…
  2. Tantrums-or the inability to effectively      converse ones feelings…this can be observed as frequent as a baby poops      its diaper….Tantrums are thrown by not just by kids, but grown ass      adults as well…Don’t get what they want, first they cry, next let the      finger pointing begin, and when it’s not enough, start taking things from      others what you cannot replace…
  3. Hurt-is there so much hurt that one would      hurt another?…Hell Yeah!… we do this also whether we want to admit it      or…pain is one of those      emotions we LOVE to share… tell      others about it, we sing about it, write about is, read about it, and even      kill about it…If only there was a way to end the pain
  4. Love-why would we kill for love? So many      reasons…for everyone one love differently and it is defined differently      by each person who experiences it…It’s a precious emotion and very      sacred…to express one’s love through the loss of another…happened      before…and we continue to happen as long as it-LOVE that is-is so fleeting
  5. Hatred…can’t love with hating      right?….this emotion is strong, pungent and corrupts even the purest of      souls….To Hate, I feel you must first know how to love…because      although we dislike what people do…to hate them…leads to dark      behavior…the kind that supports irrational thoughts…and Death
  6. Destiny….Some people I truly believe are      just born to die young…that’s their purpose, to teach others lessons      that will alter their lives; therefore, affecting others…Is it right…it’s      not about that…it’s just one’s purpose and that’s all
  7. Disturbed…this I find funny as a people have      a tendency to place behaviors they do not like in this category, she      wearing skinny jeans with a tank top and she morbidly obese, that disturbing….He hears voices      and talks to them, disturbed,      Her lover is slightly younger than she, only 20 year, disturbing;  He walks      around clutching a black briefcase as a child, disturbing
  8. Evil…I love this too…what is      Evil?….isn’t it the opposite of Good…but isn’t one man’s good another      man’s evil…or is killing always wrong….Or maybe just killing children      is what is evil?…..Don’t think it’s evil, just wrong…Evil should be      left to describe the true dark stuff…stuff that will make your local      religious leader denounce his God and want to leave this land of the      living…But that just me…
  9. Choice…Yes! One can choose to do such      things, they don’t have to care about others nor how it would affect them,      they don’t have to worry if they are coming home for they don’t plan to      come home…they are choosing to leave everyone else behind..
  10. Violent Video Game/Television…Now I don’t believe this no more      than the Gun made them do it…But just for argument sake will say that      the video game caused this flawed thinking, as when you hunt down the bad      people, shoot up the aliens or monster, or when you steal the cars, run      from the police and shoot ice, fire, or flesh altering energy form you      hands you training yourself how to do this in real life…plus it’s ALWAYS      better in real life…
  11. Sick…whether this is true, mental      illness physical illness or a little of both…sickness will cause people      to act differently, some in ways other don’t understand…This can lead  to ill feelings, an altered worldly view      and even Death…And he will always claim his victims
  12. Fame…your only famous if you make it into      history….that’s His Story…because      that all it ever will be when this all is over…Adam Lanza the slayer of Connecticut’s      Sandy Hook Elementary School..He will live on though others will be forgotten…fame      or infamy…either way he’s out there…
  13. Jealousy…”Always at work”, “Always putting others before me”, “Never supporting my ideas”, “They are good enough, but I am not”…”I want to be them, I want your unconditional love, affection and emotions”, ‘I want it all, I don’t want to share with them as they have their parents, they have their time alone”…”If I can’t have you no one can”….If I can’t love, marry, and procreate,.. no one should, for it is easy to go home.”    Jealousy like this…causes doubt, misguided thinking,  distrust and a warped way of see and interacting in the world..

These are some possible reason people do such harmful things to others…not a justification but a clarification…may all who pass, rest in peace and for those who take takes what’s not theirs….may you find what you seek…

Why Wait? Doughnut’s Decision

Now…I have considered myself making right decisions, like to have the Doughnut Holes young….Well, I guess to make the Doughnut Holes young, would be the best way to say that, as I can’t have anything…So today, as I was getting dressed it dawned on me..I have a real teenager…a high school Doughnut Hole who will be exploring life, wanting to learn how to drive, wanting to go out on dates, wanting to do things I prefer she wait for, but I have no real control over if she does or not, and wanting to be “herself” in this ever evolving world…

These thought makes me sad…not because she will be leaving me (really can’t wait to get the home empty, running around naked in your home is so cool…if you haven’t tried it…you should)… My sadness is from the point that she continues to get older and so do I…I’m developing aches and pains, old man belly itch, and unexplained irritability…I hate it, don’t understand it, and love it all at the same time…Also teenagers cost SO much money..it’s like another infancy stage to me…that is also time when the Doughnuts Hole just eat, drink, and poop my money away, without any real return for me…I know I should want to invest in them  and sure they grow, and stuff, but who really benefits from that? They do!….Sure I can get a tax deduction for them..(least for now I can, beware the 2012 fiscal cliff)…but that doesn’t change the fact of the cost…Now I’ve been told…”You shouldn’t have them if you don’t want them. You knew they would cost and blah, blah, blah”…And I agree that I knew the price of child rearing…but that still doesn’t remove the want of cheap child related things…

Wouldn’t it be great if you could receive Being A Parent Discount on all the children related items in the stores…and the more children you have the bigger the discount…For I’m investing in the future, so I should be rewarded…Right?…And the better quality of my offspring, like honor roll, no juvenile delinquent behaviors, audio and visual pleasing….the bigger the discount would be and this would stack with long relationship discounts for those happy couples as well…I can see it now…Walking down the aisles at my favorite stores calm, soothing, shopping music playing over the loud speakers….getting half off for this, sixty percent off  for that, and for those real important thing…only ninety nine cents…And after I finished by shopping experience, I would be greeted by a nice customer loving cashier…who would greet me with

“Hello Mr. Doughnut. What can I get for your today?” Or “How was your shopping experience?”  And “I can see that you took advantage of the children going to bed early discount. That was quite the steal, but a well earned one for your part”….I would smile and look at the parents behind me in line who didn’t receive such great discounts. knowing that they would be envious of my great fortune and child rearing skills…But I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only one, I’d expect it would be several people utilizing this new service their children qualified them for…For who doesn’t like a deal?…

But that isn’t the case and there aren’t any discounts, so I’m forced to reality…the high prices of this gadgets or that fad as she is trying to maintain a level popularity or social life…that as a loving parent you suppose to support…Right? ..And that they (she included)  will thank me later and when I’m really up in age…will decide not to pawn me off to some nursing care center and visit me maybe three times a year (Father’s day, Birthday and Christmas)..But until that time, I will continue to struggle to get her what she needs and few things she want, provide her with challenges, and opportunities to make mistakes so that we (Sweet Tart and I) can uses these as discipline moments…Besides, the time will come when they house is empty and I will be laughing as the money collects in the bank, while my late reproducing family and friends are struggling to keep up with their technologically advanced, pocket draining, vacuum gutted young ones, while also trying to keep them happy and fulfilled.. I feel I have made the correct decision by starting young, I have the energy to deal with the struggle, the time to listen to the stories, and the tenacity to do it over and over again…Plus who does not like running through the house naked?

Monday…Monday…and it been a while since a Dozen was baked…but TODAY is a special day and Special Baker’s Dozen for ME..’Cause today’s A Doughnut’s Birthday and …this Dozen is All About ME…So let’s see why I enjoyed my birthday.…

 

 

  1. Life….the most obvious one…Today several years ago…Me Mum…gave birth to me…I baked in the oven forever and tore everything up coming out…least that’s I was told..Sorry Mum
  2. Presents….been many…many years since I received a birthday gift I really liked…Sweet Tart and the gang got me a new fishing tackle box…Finally a gift I can use….Guess what color it is?
  3. No Work…since Me Mum worked so hard on this date…I vowed not to work on the day if I could help it…So I was off today
  4. Songs…You know even if they were off key, interruptions, and repetitious, I Loved receiving and hearing that little melody…”Happy Birthday to You”…performed by my individual family, co-workers, and  friends…
  5. Eleven…the number of years it took for all  my co-worker to actually care enough to wish me a Happy Birthday
  6. Birthday Suit…Well born this way…I was greeted this way…Who knew Sweet Tart wore pink icing…Yum!
  7. Friendship…Always good to learn you have it…Even better when you can share it…
  8. Fishing…Oh, You knew I had to try out the tackle box…Worked great…I looked good carrying it…and plus…it kept me organized…Can’t fall in that way
  9. Five Dollars…Who said that a gift had be expensive…This was the best five dollars I ever received…Why?….Cause it bought me and Raisin Crème Pie lunch…What did we eat?…Let’s just say it was fulfilling ..
  10. Joke…This year…he didn’t’ forget nor as I too busy to answer…I got the joke from my brother and I owe him one on his birthday
  11. Notes…Well wishes greeted me at the door by the eldest…while also sharing credit with the boy…A pink poster board also marks the day and leaves a memory…Maybe Doughnut will take sprinkles this time
  12. Memories…This birthday will be one to remember…It will go in the good file, in front of the first true sexual experience…it feels good to replace the other birthday memories with this one…
  13. Hope…Today, I was given hope again…I felt that people really don’t care about you unless they are required to…and I should know better but that doesn’t mean I always do..This birthday was a sign that they do and I and Hopeful because  of it

I know this may seem confusing to some or stupid to other…but this Doughnut can say today that he is glad he is gotten older and added another wrinkle in his icing…

Cause a Doughnut Has a Hole

Deep, dark thoughts bother me today…Don’t know why, but they do….I haven’t felt this way in a while and my hole has increased in size…engulfing me as I wonder around…Why? I don’t know…least this is what I tell myself…I felt I did something wrong…something I’ll pay for…Something THAT I can’t change, now even if I wanted to…I must learn to forgive myself…to let things go, no matter how much it troubles me…

I always felt it would be easy to take the life of another…the power would be invigorating, quite intoxicating…But this was not the feeling…Not the feeling I have…I have regret…I feel sorrow…and no matter how I rationalize what I have done, I can’t justify the actions I took…I have altered something that I cannot fix, I can never undo the harm I have caused….even though it was commanded of me…

Doughnuts are suppose to be sweet, a pleasure for those to eat…and only if you consume too many or have some ill wanted allergy reaction to wheat flour would they cause harm…and definitely not suppose to kill…However, there are times when it does happen…and WHAT’S A DOUGHNUT SUPPOSE TO DO?  WHY is it? I hate this, but it has happened…and now I will live with it…

“It wasn’t my fault”…I tell myself…”the bagel brought this upon itself”….”It understood if it was presented on display, it would be eaten or discarded like all the other stale, unwanted, undercooked pastries”…but it was my job to protect, to prevent this from happening…but NO!!   I was the mouth piece…the spokesman for Death…Damn! I hate being used…

But now, I must embrace it…stand firm on my deed and not allow this to bother me….to force me in consuming the poison…the nectar of the demons…Right?…Who wants a soggy Doughnut?….or maybe a toxic Doughnut is easier to swallow…either way I’m gonna have to make this right somehow…but how?

So As I sit here, chicken peckin’ at the keys, inscribing my thoughts, so that others can judge me, I feel that I know what I must do…Shed a tear? NO! Doughnuts don’t cry….Pledge to always support the Bagel…Naw, that would be a lie and something I really don’t want to commit too…Maybe take this as a lesson of what I won’t ever do again…Sounds more like it…for every event…affects the hole, the cream filling, and the voices in my head…So touché you sneaky bastard..Go back to your little hole…and stop fucking with me today…it’s not my fault…and this feeling I have shouldn’t be mine only to feel…not my burden to carry as I was doing as I was told and Doughnut has a hole

I like surprises…Well most surprises…Not the ones where you are caught with your pants down, or you come home and a lovely visitor is there…Someone you really would not like to see…and especially not spending some time with…But this not one of these times…this was what would fall into the good category….This day I received a call…a call I was not ready to received, but was glad it was made…You see, I started talking about Liver an Onion a few post back…and today I was notified that I was going to receive a new Liver…Well Liver was going to get a new liver…Since Doughnuts don’t have livers…Either way, that was the news and I was surprised…Now I felt we would be ready for such news but…hmm quickly realized that I wasn’t and Liver and Onion surely wasn’t…I thought he was (told me he was)…but when the decision was needed…he was really more hesitant than I thought he would be…Shit, if I needed new fillings to be here (pointing to injecting site)..I’m like “fill me up”…But I am different…so I’m told…So after discussing with Liver and Onion about the pros and cons, awaiting on another explanation from the doctor…and not listening to Onion’s reasoning for not doing it..Liver gave the ok…Now this is where the wave of thoughts flooded my brain…tsunami style…Am I ready for this? What do I suppose to do now? You want… who to go with us? I don’t have time for babysitting…please be grown up today.

 

After making arrangements for overnights for Onion, cause she couldn’t dare ask her onion seeds to let her stay at his home, making arrangement for the holes to stay with Mom…and the Sweet Tart joining me for support, we were off…the ride was quite different…two hours of silence, thought provoking conversation and enjoying NPR (National Public Radio)…Right?…Nope!…They talked, and discussed all types of things..some made me laugh, others made me wonder, but hey this could be Liver’s last day so I will not complain…

 

Then once we get there we receive another surprise, I hate these…the hurry up and wait surprise…Huh?  Why did you have me rush only to wait…don’t you understand that waiting is the worst part of anything…the anticipation, the unknown, the feeling of anger that builds while others go before you….”Will you hurry the fuck up already!!!” I’ve got things to do…Sheesh..He’s dying right here (big finger pointing over his head)…so what that pale, fragile looking, hairless girl’s here for the same reason…It my Liver! Damn It!! And I need service NOW!”…Ok, these thoughts did fill my mind, but I’m to smooth or have too much swagger to say them out loud…I have to be civilized…Right?…after a hour or so of waiting…lost track after they changed shifts..We were admitted to a room…Then the real reason I was placed on this Earth revealed itself…I was here to be aggravated by Onion…who not only have degrees in every know science there is..She’s also is a specialist in men’s health (read one old book), internal medicine…Especially concerning the Liver…Onion not only aggravated the living hell out of me….she stunk up the place with her constant peeling, and peeling and peeling..”The nurses didn’t know what they were doing because they used the measurement MG versus CC…The PA.. poor, clueless, lady was trapped underneath the layer of hypothetical, unrelated and absurd accusation..The more she tried to get away by answering Onion’s question, or using superior customer service skills, the more Onion peeled on her..I finally had enough and released her..and she literally ran out of the room..Being who I am, I trying to justify Onion’s actions…Why is she acting like this? Don’t she understand EVERYONE…family and friends are just concerned about Liver as she is…if something goes wrong… she lose a husband…(had two before, plus you threaten to leave him so many times before)..But I will lose… My Liver…I have been here a lot longer than you..So stop acting so irrational, unstable and plan Loco…

 

Well after all the fiasco was over…I finally was able to find out some serious things about my Liver wishes. That I thought I knew already…DNR (do not resituate) was not his plan…as long as he can return like himself…keep him alive, otherwise let him go…It was hard to hear this..but hey it’s his life..and only a Liver right? …So now w e wait…and wait…family member come by, others call to send their best wishes..Face Book and other social media filling up…well wisher galore…this also was a surprise for Liver..he also though no one gave a Damn about him..only a selected few..but now he was able to see he had a purpose..or lest meant something to people…Getting flowers while you are alive is a great joy…The waiting went on for several more hours (4 am in the morning to be exact)…then found out we were literally waiting someone to pass so that Liver can get a new one…Death..waiting on you to claim your victim..so we can avoid you once more…Well Death claimed his victim and…shorted us also…”The liver was not suitable”..and we had to go home…Sigh!!..Damn!!…Onion was so glad, I was not..I’m not wanting things to get worst for him and then we watch him die slowly..I know how that is..Uncle Chunk taught me this…But hey, that the way the Doughnut crumbles and I know now I must obtain a medical power of attorney for Liver…Since Onion’s focus is on herself and not reality…

Been a while, but I have to Blog…And Being a Monday, it’s Much easier to jump back into the swing of things…Today have been a sprinkle sprayer, powdered sugar keg of a day…But it fueled my thoughts and I have more to write about then I have time to type..So today’s Doughnut Dozen will be about the reason I feel Doughnuts shouldn’t be a social worker…

  1. Rounded…You would think that a rounded individual would make a great social worker…but I have learned today..that  Nope!…Sticks are better….Straight and to the point…Who needs to come full circle about things anymore?
  2. Taste…Sweetness is a great trait to have as a social worker…being able to be kind to helpless pastries…Nope!…Not the sweetness of cane syrup, but more like sweetness of a Granny Smith Apples…Good a bitter, leave a great after taste.
  3. Solid…Someone who is determining the likelihood you are going to get your little ones back should be solid…Right?…Nope!… I have learned…that being a little flakey is best…Who needs to feel secure anymore?
  4. Dozen…A Dozens like a team…It takes everyone to make the whole thing work…Oh, Wait!…That not for social workers…plus to be Eaten first is the best experience…
  5. Variety…Another important point…Some like chocolate, powered, or even cream filled and it’s a successful practice of building a dozen, but not for social workers…We think as One..The One who Tell Command Us what to Do….
  6. Middle Hole…Great for Doughnuts…Let others see through you…but also fall in…Not for social workers…having holes or gaps in ANYTHING is bad for us…
  7. Filled…Doughnuts are filled with All kind of stuff…and so are social workers…but not the stuff of Doughnuts…unless you like, disturbing memories of what people do to other people…
  8. Packaged for Consumption…The best way to be given to the public…social workers can’t be packaged…if they are…I’m sure you Don’t want to eat them…Read #7 again
  9. Breakdown…Ever eaten a soggy Doughnut? Well to have a breakdown as a social worker is like eating a soggy Doughnut…It’s not a good thing
  10. Getting Stale…Over a period of time things better with age…Wine, Diamonds, and even Cheese…Doughnuts?…Nope…They get stale, moldy, and releases poisons…Hmm?…Sounds like a aged social worker to me
  11. Emotionless…Well Doughnuts don’t feel…They don’t care about what’s going on around them…to come to think about it…Neither do Bagels, Cream Puffs, or Sweet Tarts…But social workers should care…should feel some emotions…some do…but many don’t
  12. Flexibility…Well can’t say a Doughnut can be flexible…maybe a Doughnut for a car…They can bounce…But social workers are…they are stretchy too…Either way, this is a REAL BIG problem…flexibility leads to instability i.e. #9
  13. Simplicity…A Doughnut is a very simple thing, round, fat, predictable, and understands its purpose in life…to be eaten, enjoyed, digested and recycled…Not  the life of a social worker…It is required to be as complex as possible…because this makes a social worker stronger, wiser, and able to handle what life toss it’s way…Really? Ha! Ha!..and they call me simple

Well hoped this gave a little insight on my reasoning doughnuts do not make good social workers…being rounded is good thing…but being jaded is much better…Whatcha think?

Doughnut’s Liver and Onion

Ok… I talked about Liver and Onion on yesterday, but I have not introduced them formally…..Well since Me mom actually provided me with some home training (manners), I’ll do this now…

 

Liver is well you know that large organ in your body…actually the only exposed one in your internal system…He is very rich in minerals, a great filter and without it you will die…pretty painful actually….So the Liver I’m referring to is that one…My Liver is sick…really sick and must be replaced…after years of filtering, way too much alcohol, social drugs, and other stuff… compounded with a mean bug caught in the process…my Liver is dying….The Liver have recognized it’s mistakes and finally came to term to its fate, but that doesn’t mean that it will be any easier for me…because being replaced is never easy and there is no way not to take it personal…so it’s behavior is expected…

 

Now Onion is the just that an Onion…it makes you cry when it burst open, but it also goes great with Liver…the many layers often prevent you from reaching it soft tender shoots, but this is eased by peeling the layers back, though they take a little work it worth it…Often Onion causes tears, indigestion, and many trips to the bathroom, but I would not have it any other way, because without Onion I would not still have my Liver…Liver feel in love with Onion and want let go…others have tried to persuade them…others have tried to tear them apart…but you can’t and I don’t try….

 

I have been dealing more with Liver and Onion since Liver’s sickness and we now understand that the journey were on is ours…we want others’ help and will take it, but receive only a few assist along the way…This frustrates me as I’m not ready to lose Liver as I just found it and it would be SO unfair it that happens…

 

Well Hope this helps as  I talk about them…and If not ask..or just keep reading as I post…you’ll get to know them just as I have…One hour at a time…

Wow!!..Night already and I’m finally able to write down a few thought of mine…been a few weeks and I have a lot of them going on in my head…and I will let them old thought go but as of now I’m feeling a little doughnutish today…I explain “doughnutish” is a the feeling you get when feel that life haven’t given you all the information when dealing with a situation; therefore, leaving you with a large hole in the middle”…Only problem with me is when I get this way..I tend to embrace it and fall within the hole…

Why do I feel this way today?…well today I was presented with an unknown but one that causes me to rethink my view of myself…I consider myself a very rounded individual…I don’t consider myself better than ten the next doughnut, bagel, pretzels, biscuits, or sweet tart I deal with; but lately with all the media attention to the difference of us all, the feeling we have when dealing with differences and the treatments of such difference, I makes me wonder…Do I hate and don’t really want to say I do…

I know I like being around those like me…shoot doughnuts sell better as a dozen then single…but is my preference due to my natural want to be around pastries who are like me or is this just what I think I want to do…reason I say that is I often feel funny around other doughnuts…like they know I’m not really one of them…wonder what they are thinking, feeling and what they say about me when I leave…then to make It worst, I find myself talking about them as well…about how they should know better, how dressing up doesn’t change the fact that they are doughnuts and always will be…does this make me a doughnut hater?

When around others, not like me…I feel funny…I watch and wait, but often try to catch them of guard and mentally attack them, so that I can always seem ahead, even though I quite feel that I’m behind…This helps me support or justify my dislike, but also helps me understand those I’m really trying to understand…Is it a nice thing? Probably not, but I don’t care…It’s about me and my ability to understand the world and the pastries around me…

With the steady destruction of others, it’s easy to become desensitized. This is my problem I feel, but when I was presented with the idea that one of my fellow doughnuts wanted to go to Pakistan to study new found religion, my mind automatically went to training camps and self destruction….I feel I was wrong for the assumption and don’t really this is what the goal is for the visit; however, this stupid hole in me (JD) is say you know this is or what is going on with him….I honestly know all Muslims aren’t terrorist and for me to even think this is wrong…I hate stereotypes, and I know better than to do this, but I find myself doing this more lately…saw a lady today dressed very ..Let’s say…”loose” and the first thing pops in my mind is prostitute…was I right? No….well least I think no..I didn’t ask her…either way I was wrong…and being in my profession know better…then to draw conclusions from simple glances without getting information

When I think about it, I don’t hate…pastries….I just dislike people…people have a way of getting things wrong, passing judgments, and not trying to fix things…while pastries are too busy trying to live and not get eaten up by the people of society…So what I have to do is to stay a doughnut, a little jaded and let things “ride it out”…because life usually fix itself one way or another..

“The week goes by fast when your having fun”…least what I was told…And I am beginning to believe that this is quite true…But then I was told that “it’s not going faster, I’m just moving slower”…that the older you get the faster the time appears to trickle away…Well ain’t that just dandy…another reason why I do not like getting older…So today’s dozen is about why I don’t like getting older, old things including people and many more “aging things”…

 

  1. Loss of Hair…the crown or glory as some call it….it’s a blessing, a sign of youth…you can style it, dye it and it beckons….makes a statement, but as you get older, it seems to loose it’s luster and fall out more…I think this because I have notice more male and female pattern baldness then I’m happy to acknowledge…and no matter how you try to fluff it out, comb it over…everyone can still see your bald head..
  2. Saggy Skin…I was told that this would come when I ate too much and then loss weight quickly, or stop going to the gym…well I have notice a lot of saggy skin on old people…the flabby skin folds that dangle from different body parts are not attractive…and gives me shivers when they touch me during granny’s embrace…
  3. Eh!”,  “Whatcha say?”, “Can you repeat that?”….The loss of hearing is something I’m really not looking forward too either…I know years of cochlea vibrations, Q-Tip swabbing, and loud, thumping music didn’t help much, but constant repeating myself doesn’t help either…
  4. “Who are you? Come a little closer please?”…No! I don’t want to come closer to you, sorry you can’t see me…but that’s what happens when you get old…heavy eye staring, long hours at work or television watching is a way to really ruin your eyes… maybe it’s the constant bombardment of butt crack, and undergarment from sagging pants is the real culprit
  5. Bad Odor…Ok, is it just me or do older things just smell funny?…Not funny Ha..Ha…but funny bad…like a different, unpleasant smell…from flowers, to people…old stuff smell funny….and what I find weird is that the older you get, the more pleasant the funny smell becomes…
  6. Beer…Unlike wine…Beer doesn’t taste better the older it gets…aged beer taste like bitter bath water (don’t ask)…just believe me it do…best beer is cold…fresh from the tap…
  7. Stress…I hate this with a  passion…and guess what I learned? It causes aging….I know this is true cause I look at people I work with daily  and they look “old as hell” no matter how much make up they use to hide it…
  8. Elderly Drivers…Ok..I know some would say this is a stereotype, because their grandmother is a “speed demon.”  Maybe your grandmas is, but 99% of the others aren’t and after watching the little old couple hold traffic up on the interstate as I was traveling, while their right blinker was on…I feel this is true…I really feel we should retest our elder drivers so that they can keep their license..
  9. Stories Tellers…I love stories…”new ones”…but I have been caught in the loop of a story by my elders and I think this is a shared experience…How you can tell if a loop have occurred is as the story is being delivered, the recipient continues to stare, eyes glazed over, mouth agape while each word slowly and carefully escapes the story teller’s mouth…I try not to get into those situations by avoiding the storyteller at all cost…
  10. Speed Deficient….I know this is true…as I have slowed down…I recall sprinting, jumping, and playing ball all in the same stride…if I try that now…I’ll be laying on the ground, mimicking Red Fox…”warning  Elizabeth”…I watch them and now realize that they can not help it, but still don’t like it
  11. Stomach Problems…I really hate this about getting old…I use to pride myself in the “cauldron” I use to call my stomach, I could mix and toss all kind of things in there and keep going…now it’s more like a small clay pot…easily cracked, and can’t hold things too hot or too cold without consideration
  12. Reliability…No matter how much we want to think that old things will always be there…the truth is…they won’t…not that they don’t want too…it just the way it is…reliable at first…but will eventually let you down
  13. Death…The worst things about being old or having something that is old…is that it will eventually stop working…Death will come and take what’s his and all you can do (unless your what’s Death’s after) is to get something knew or move on to something better…either way it Sucks..

Well I tell people often…least if they ask…that I do not like old people and things…but now I’m becoming one…Slow, and Senile…But enjoying every minute of it…So get off my lawn…and let me have the fast lane