Tag Archive: aging


Why Wait? Doughnut’s Decision

Now…I have considered myself making right decisions, like to have the Doughnut Holes young….Well, I guess to make the Doughnut Holes young, would be the best way to say that, as I can’t have anything…So today, as I was getting dressed it dawned on me..I have a real teenager…a high school Doughnut Hole who will be exploring life, wanting to learn how to drive, wanting to go out on dates, wanting to do things I prefer she wait for, but I have no real control over if she does or not, and wanting to be “herself” in this ever evolving world…

These thought makes me sad…not because she will be leaving me (really can’t wait to get the home empty, running around naked in your home is so cool…if you haven’t tried it…you should)… My sadness is from the point that she continues to get older and so do I…I’m developing aches and pains, old man belly itch, and unexplained irritability…I hate it, don’t understand it, and love it all at the same time…Also teenagers cost SO much money..it’s like another infancy stage to me…that is also time when the Doughnuts Hole just eat, drink, and poop my money away, without any real return for me…I know I should want to invest in them  and sure they grow, and stuff, but who really benefits from that? They do!….Sure I can get a tax deduction for them..(least for now I can, beware the 2012 fiscal cliff)…but that doesn’t change the fact of the cost…Now I’ve been told…”You shouldn’t have them if you don’t want them. You knew they would cost and blah, blah, blah”…And I agree that I knew the price of child rearing…but that still doesn’t remove the want of cheap child related things…

Wouldn’t it be great if you could receive Being A Parent Discount on all the children related items in the stores…and the more children you have the bigger the discount…For I’m investing in the future, so I should be rewarded…Right?…And the better quality of my offspring, like honor roll, no juvenile delinquent behaviors, audio and visual pleasing….the bigger the discount would be and this would stack with long relationship discounts for those happy couples as well…I can see it now…Walking down the aisles at my favorite stores calm, soothing, shopping music playing over the loud speakers….getting half off for this, sixty percent off  for that, and for those real important thing…only ninety nine cents…And after I finished by shopping experience, I would be greeted by a nice customer loving cashier…who would greet me with

“Hello Mr. Doughnut. What can I get for your today?” Or “How was your shopping experience?”  And “I can see that you took advantage of the children going to bed early discount. That was quite the steal, but a well earned one for your part”….I would smile and look at the parents behind me in line who didn’t receive such great discounts. knowing that they would be envious of my great fortune and child rearing skills…But I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only one, I’d expect it would be several people utilizing this new service their children qualified them for…For who doesn’t like a deal?…

But that isn’t the case and there aren’t any discounts, so I’m forced to reality…the high prices of this gadgets or that fad as she is trying to maintain a level popularity or social life…that as a loving parent you suppose to support…Right? ..And that they (she included)  will thank me later and when I’m really up in age…will decide not to pawn me off to some nursing care center and visit me maybe three times a year (Father’s day, Birthday and Christmas)..But until that time, I will continue to struggle to get her what she needs and few things she want, provide her with challenges, and opportunities to make mistakes so that we (Sweet Tart and I) can uses these as discipline moments…Besides, the time will come when they house is empty and I will be laughing as the money collects in the bank, while my late reproducing family and friends are struggling to keep up with their technologically advanced, pocket draining, vacuum gutted young ones, while also trying to keep them happy and fulfilled.. I feel I have made the correct decision by starting young, I have the energy to deal with the struggle, the time to listen to the stories, and the tenacity to do it over and over again…Plus who does not like running through the house naked?

“The week goes by fast when your having fun”…least what I was told…And I am beginning to believe that this is quite true…But then I was told that “it’s not going faster, I’m just moving slower”…that the older you get the faster the time appears to trickle away…Well ain’t that just dandy…another reason why I do not like getting older…So today’s dozen is about why I don’t like getting older, old things including people and many more “aging things”…

 

  1. Loss of Hair…the crown or glory as some call it….it’s a blessing, a sign of youth…you can style it, dye it and it beckons….makes a statement, but as you get older, it seems to loose it’s luster and fall out more…I think this because I have notice more male and female pattern baldness then I’m happy to acknowledge…and no matter how you try to fluff it out, comb it over…everyone can still see your bald head..
  2. Saggy Skin…I was told that this would come when I ate too much and then loss weight quickly, or stop going to the gym…well I have notice a lot of saggy skin on old people…the flabby skin folds that dangle from different body parts are not attractive…and gives me shivers when they touch me during granny’s embrace…
  3. Eh!”,  “Whatcha say?”, “Can you repeat that?”….The loss of hearing is something I’m really not looking forward too either…I know years of cochlea vibrations, Q-Tip swabbing, and loud, thumping music didn’t help much, but constant repeating myself doesn’t help either…
  4. “Who are you? Come a little closer please?”…No! I don’t want to come closer to you, sorry you can’t see me…but that’s what happens when you get old…heavy eye staring, long hours at work or television watching is a way to really ruin your eyes… maybe it’s the constant bombardment of butt crack, and undergarment from sagging pants is the real culprit
  5. Bad Odor…Ok, is it just me or do older things just smell funny?…Not funny Ha..Ha…but funny bad…like a different, unpleasant smell…from flowers, to people…old stuff smell funny….and what I find weird is that the older you get, the more pleasant the funny smell becomes…
  6. Beer…Unlike wine…Beer doesn’t taste better the older it gets…aged beer taste like bitter bath water (don’t ask)…just believe me it do…best beer is cold…fresh from the tap…
  7. Stress…I hate this with a  passion…and guess what I learned? It causes aging….I know this is true cause I look at people I work with daily  and they look “old as hell” no matter how much make up they use to hide it…
  8. Elderly Drivers…Ok..I know some would say this is a stereotype, because their grandmother is a “speed demon.”  Maybe your grandmas is, but 99% of the others aren’t and after watching the little old couple hold traffic up on the interstate as I was traveling, while their right blinker was on…I feel this is true…I really feel we should retest our elder drivers so that they can keep their license..
  9. Stories Tellers…I love stories…”new ones”…but I have been caught in the loop of a story by my elders and I think this is a shared experience…How you can tell if a loop have occurred is as the story is being delivered, the recipient continues to stare, eyes glazed over, mouth agape while each word slowly and carefully escapes the story teller’s mouth…I try not to get into those situations by avoiding the storyteller at all cost…
  10. Speed Deficient….I know this is true…as I have slowed down…I recall sprinting, jumping, and playing ball all in the same stride…if I try that now…I’ll be laying on the ground, mimicking Red Fox…”warning  Elizabeth”…I watch them and now realize that they can not help it, but still don’t like it
  11. Stomach Problems…I really hate this about getting old…I use to pride myself in the “cauldron” I use to call my stomach, I could mix and toss all kind of things in there and keep going…now it’s more like a small clay pot…easily cracked, and can’t hold things too hot or too cold without consideration
  12. Reliability…No matter how much we want to think that old things will always be there…the truth is…they won’t…not that they don’t want too…it just the way it is…reliable at first…but will eventually let you down
  13. Death…The worst things about being old or having something that is old…is that it will eventually stop working…Death will come and take what’s his and all you can do (unless your what’s Death’s after) is to get something knew or move on to something better…either way it Sucks..

Well I tell people often…least if they ask…that I do not like old people and things…but now I’m becoming one…Slow, and Senile…But enjoying every minute of it…So get off my lawn…and let me have the fast lane

Wow been a few days since I last posted…The holidays does that for ya I guess…Or Am I running out of ideas?…I would hate for that to happen so I  was thinking while I was taking care of the Sweet Tart’s Kitty, grooming her and all…I forgot about posting for Thanksgiving…So Today I’m gonna do that…I usually bake a dozen on Monday but today I’ll do a half dozen for the occasion…”clearing throat”…OK Today’s half dozen is about Things I’m Not Thankful For..

  1. My Height…Being five feet six inches as a male is not a good thing…especially since I only grew 2 inches from age 13 until age 21…I always got the short jokes, small feet, and over looks when it came to comparisons, but I quickly learned a few witty comebacks for attacks towards my manhood, and to smart ass women…Two of my favorites are,” Don’t let the height fool ya, big things do come in small packages” and “Vertically we equal out”
  2. Working…I hear all the time (especially since the economy tanked) “Least your working.”…Then I look at the commenter and state “Who really wants to work?”…Wouldn’t it be nice to receive a check when ever you needed, have all you needs met, while enjoying whatever You wanted to do without a single care in the world…I briefly enjoyed this as a kid and all I wanted to do was be an adult…Being a kid rocks when you have your needs and some wants met..
  3.  Aging…I would love to stay 21 physically for the rest of my natural life…I would like to continue to become wiser (as this is not age based but due to experiences) Aging…is for old folks…I hate the unexplained aches and pains, the stiff joints, lack of energy, grey hairs, and the dying part really isn’t fair to me…Wouldn’t it be cool if everyone was 21 until the end..
  4. Unrealistic expectations…I’m too logical at times…and this causes me a lot of pain…as I often place unrealistic expectations on people I deal with….I just expect for those who deal with me, to understand me, and follow basic logic when dealing with me…Is that too much too ask?
  5. The “To Do List”…This thing bothers me so much because I never can complete it…I continues to grow and grow…no matter how many things I complete on it…my job loves these…and they developed a fancy word to describe them “Alerts”….Like an alert will make me do the task any faster…or remember to do it the first place
  6. Loss of Memory…I am not thankful for this…As my short term memory is horrific…and with bad short term…my long term is lacking…I can’t remember things without writing them down…and the day to day hustle of work/life doesn’t always give me the opportunity to do so…To compensate for this loss, I have to carry a pen and paper around with me and write notes as I will forget…Ask me what I had for dinner or who I seen last night…I can’t recall…I wonder is this a sign for something worse to come?

Well this is my half dozen…what would you add to the list?