Ok! Time for another Doughnut’s Dozen. See if you can help me develop more things for the list. Feel free to add more in comments..


  1. Don’t have to work that day-Why? Cause a guy sailed across the ocean to claim land that belong to someone else, so we get to stick to the man also by getting paid to stay at home and claim what’s “rightfully” ours
  2. Columbus was one of the first guy to pull a Debo: Taking someone else’s shit and dare them to say something-Well, I doubt he could understand what they said anyway
  3. Would not have this school rhyme with out him, “In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue-helped me passed that history quiz
  4. FDR made it official-Any holiday FDR made official….Got to be cool right?
  5. No gift requirements– Finally!!! A cheap holiday-can’t think of many fights happening due to forgetting the present or getting the wrong thing
  6. No Mail today equal no chance of receiving a bill or junk mailLike I need another bill notice
  7. We get to celebrate the darkness in humanity-nothing like knifing, slicing, enslaving,  exploiting, and demoralizing people, so that we can have what we have today. But hey?! We did a great job here inAmerica!!
  8. No parades, No candy to toss, No costumes to buy, No family members to come over and increase your household expenses, No special food to eat for superstitions  reason, No eggs to decorate or hide,  No late night gift wrapping-Ahhh…an antisocial, fugal, rational, lazy man’s holiday
  9. It doesn’t screw with my television shows-I can watch Judge Mathis now
  10. Who can’t like a Holiday with a guy with a cool hat -I wonder can you still get one?
  11. We get to celebrate a Mistake-See!!!…Some mistakes ARE good ones…so go hug yours
  12. We get to spend time with our children, well if you get it off-Nothing like family bonding over a game of UNO
  13. It’s the only federal holiday not celebrated by all states of America-Way to go. Show our rebellious, independent, and self righteous ways; by not celebrating the day the country you live in was founded..