I have a confession…one that most will not admit to, but today I’m gonna do it…for years I have been guilty of a sin…and if not a sin it should be…but I’m sure the good Lord will forgive me and if not maybe one of the other higher beings will shoot him a email with some of my many good deeds so he would consider it…Or the mail should be it’s G-mail (GODS-Mail) not to be mistaken for Google’s G-mail…either way I hope someone look out for me…Before I confess I must first present my case…”deep breathe”

OK… This dreadful act begin when I was a kid…I was first exposed to this through an act of kindness, spending time with my mother…but the trauma caused was so detrimental to my psyche that I am haunted by it today… Why did it occur?…I don’t know, but all I recall was my senses being overwhelmed…eyes twitching…nose running…and warm feeling throughout my body-especially my legs…I do remember I was in a store shopping…I was happy that day, because going to the store was an actual privilege for my family…as children, you didn’t go to the store with your parents, they would go shopping and leave you for what seemed like forever to play with your cousins outside while the older cousin babysit….now while this was not a bad thing in general, but outside in the sweltering heat, with one dirty plastic cup for ALL to use for collecting water from the spigot to quince your thirst, gives it a different perspective, which makes things a lot different…So being able to actual go and see what shopping was…WOW! Was I in for a treat…So I thought…

We arrived at the store from what seem to be hours of driving to the BIG Store with a  Pig on it wearing a hat and bowtie…This was thePiggly Wiggly that I heard about and saw his image on the brown paper bags my mother would bring home and I would later used as book covers.. “Whoa.” I thought, when I enter the door, the variety of new smells swirled around my head, each entering my nostrils one at a time, etching memories…fruits, vegetables, raw meats, breads and other things unfamiliar to me…. this was amazing….my little heart raced with excitement as I past the checkout lady and followed my mother around to the back of the store…now the store was clean…not as clean as my house…but the floors shined…I wondered how they got them that shiny, but my thoughts quickly changed when the heavens seem to open and shine a bright light on the display…a shiny display of treats in the back of the store…they looked so delicious, so tasty, a rainbow of colors, I began to salivate…tugging at my mother’s leg…”Can I have one?”  I asked with my best puppy dog face…”NO!” firm and direct she answered…heart crushed, bubble popping,  my dreams shattered of eating the savory treat, I hung my head and followed her to the next isle…maybe this is where I should have stop thinking about the treats and focused on enjoying the rest of my trip…but Nooo!!….I could not do this…I became obsessed…Why could I not have it?…How can one treat hurt?…Didn’t she see the heavens open, given me a sign that it was God’s will that I have this?…I know sometimes you have to get what you want in life…Sometime you have to take what’s rightfully yours…That treat is mine and will be…But how?…I looked around…Now my mother was a one who you better follow close or you would find yourself getting up off the floor…while looking for your teeth…so running off like other children do, would not work…hmm.. I thought…I know the bathroom…No mother would deny that child the right to go potty?..Right?…But it had to be believable for her to release me…

phase one..the warning….First I would ask so she knew I had to go…”Ma, I got to go to the bathroom.”…wait for the response…”No, you have to hold it…I told you to go before we left”….wait a few minutes…

start phase twointense whimpering…Now this was a chance I was taking…whimpering was like a sign to get you head swatted..but…hey it was worth it…I begin…with the light whine, while asking again…”Maaa, I really need to go”….wait…whine…wait…response…”NO! you doing good…keep holding it and you betta not wet your pants”…

ok…now for phase threethe dance…while the Pee Pee Dance have become a thing they advertise on TV; However…mine was not…it goes something like this… grab your crotch, bend slightly over while you cross your legs, and hopping…”Ma!!!.. Please.. I got to go really bad..”…wait…dance…wait…response..” Alright! Go! And you better hurry up”…

ok now phase fourexit stage right…running towards the restroom…I made sure to go in the directions of the holy grail (treats)…grab a piece and kept running… SUCCESS!!!

Now I have to consume…and get rid of the evidence…within the 2.5 minutes my mother would allow…before she come looking for me…I quickly ran into the restroom…shut the door, unwrapped the treat and devoured it…the rush of sugar…lifted me…I was flying…soaring…I felt light headed and filled with a warmth…I don’t know if it was from the sugar rush or the fact that I have just stolen a treat and gotten away with it…but from then on I was hooked….theft by taken-a misdemeanor…I must have stay high for too long…cause I heard a familiar voice that cause me…quickly come back…

“Boy?! You done?…It doesn’t take that long to go!”….I left the restroom and joined up with her…she looked at me, stared and then walked away…”Boy next time, don’t hold it so long. I think you barely made it cause you pants are wet”….Looking down, I realized I really had to pee and forgot..

Well since that very day…I must confess that the best candy I have ever eaten were the ones I took…though I know its wrong…it’s nothing like free candy…So sorry Ma…your boy’s a single piece of loose candy thief…but having one piece of candy isn’t bad…

The Jadedoughnut