Tag Archive: sweet tart


Santa have come and gone…leaving behind wrapped presents, cookie crumbs and empty glasses
The pitter patter of feet running down the halls, looking, waiting, whispering in anticipation as they see what Santa has delivered and now want to open it
The Holes have torn holes into Santa’s delivery, making sure that he did not error in his delivery because he only come once a year… so no take backs if he got it wrong…Luckily for them we (Sweet Tart and I) always keep extra batteries and “receipt” tape for such needed corrections..
Trying or “testing” each and every one of them makes for a long day, but the Holes explain to me that they enjoy this part of the day…new toys to play with and so many at once…
Visiting Grandma’s for tummy stuffing and more gifts because the Holes know Santa doesn’t visit Grandma’s home…”She does not have any children at her house”….But a gift is a gift, so they don’t care..
Opening presents that are more clothing than toys can be disappointing, but they dare not say…as Grand’s presents are wrapped with care…and her wrath is distributed with care as well
Tummies are stuffed with holiday foods of cornbread dressing, turkey, ham, a variety of vegetables, cake, pies and plenty of things to wash it all down…
Games are played to entertain…fighting can occur, but trash talking is more likely…Plus, have to train for conflict resolution one way or the other..Right?…
Sleep take over the little one first, as Santa has wore her out…Will he get the others?
Only time can tell and I hear he keeps secrets pretty well…
Today was a good day and though tomorrow brings work and pain…I was glad to have today…As Memories are all we have to keep us sane…

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It’s Monday, one day after my long, eventful weekend with the Sweet Tart…I…We have been together now for 15 years and this have provided me with something to talk about…So today, let I will share…Just a little of what I have learned in today’s Dozen…
1. Love…Yes! I must start the list with this chemical inducing emotion…without it, I would not have stayed with the Sweet Tart…She would agree…as I always loved someone…and she knew who it was
2. Choices…We all have them…. we all make them…I’ve made plenty during my time with her…and let’s say I just learned which ones you shouldn’t make…
3. Talking…Me? Not talking…That’s not going to happen…but crow taste great sautéed in I’m sorry, and covered in guilty feelings…but hey a Doughnut have to eat right?
4. Memories…Doughnut’s don’t recall well…remember the oh, hole in the middle thing…but Sweet Tarts do…Don’t know if it’s the being stuff with fillings, or the rough handling, but either way I quickly learned…if I didn’t want to pay for it later don’t say it now…but, then I recalled #3..”sigh”
5. Fun…Must say I have had plenty of this… Fun meeting her, fun talking to her, fun playing with her, fun fighting with her, fun dodging her, or and fun..well let say “touching” her…for her pink icing is sweet and can be quite sticky…Can’t seem to get it off of me…
6. Procreation…Didn’t quite know how this would work, being a Doughnut and she’s a Sweet Tart, but I’ve learned after several “touching events”…that it could work and little Doughnut Holes are the result…
7. Patience…Don’t know who taught who this, but I’m glad I have this now, for waiting holding a purse (not mine) while she shop, getting fussed at or listening to her..sometimes in the same conversation, and doing the Pee-Pee dance, while she finishes in the restroom, will surly test what patience you possess…
8. The Look…It took a few attempts and epic fails on my part to learn what each one stood for…but I think I have most of them now.. A few like…the “what you looking at” look…the “ I’m wrong, but you better not say so” look…the “Pleeaasse!” look….the “I’m sorry” look…and my favorite.. the “I want you” look…this can lead to #5 but I prefer it to lead to #6…
9. Honesty…I heard that this was the best policy…”Yeah! Right?!”…Whoever wrote this was a genius. As I have learned the more I’m honest about myself , the better she is with me…try it with your Sweet Tart and let me know
10. Hardship…I have learned that not all hardship are bad…I mean who wants struggles, pain, and misgivings? …I don’t know people standing in line for this, but I must say that by being with her…it hasn’t been unbearable…
11. Commitment…I didn’t realize how I disliked that word until I had to prove it…who would think that would have been so hard, but it was..For who wants to give everything up to take care of others and don’t expect anything in return…Oh by the way! This is referred to as “parenting” if you didn’t know…
12. Don’t Sweat…Whether it’s the small stuff or something colossal in nature, Don’t sweat it…for if you do, all the sacrifices made would in vain…plus without deodorant on, you can get pretty ripe…and she doesn’t find this attractive at all…
13. Death…Since I’ve been with Sweet Tart I have experienced Death’s form in several ways…She has always been there and I’m glad she was a she proven that she is the one for me…

These are just some of the things I have learned throughout the years of being with her; I look forward in many more experiences and life lessons

Why Wait? Doughnut’s Decision

Now…I have considered myself making right decisions, like to have the Doughnut Holes young….Well, I guess to make the Doughnut Holes young, would be the best way to say that, as I can’t have anything…So today, as I was getting dressed it dawned on me..I have a real teenager…a high school Doughnut Hole who will be exploring life, wanting to learn how to drive, wanting to go out on dates, wanting to do things I prefer she wait for, but I have no real control over if she does or not, and wanting to be “herself” in this ever evolving world…

These thought makes me sad…not because she will be leaving me (really can’t wait to get the home empty, running around naked in your home is so cool…if you haven’t tried it…you should)… My sadness is from the point that she continues to get older and so do I…I’m developing aches and pains, old man belly itch, and unexplained irritability…I hate it, don’t understand it, and love it all at the same time…Also teenagers cost SO much money..it’s like another infancy stage to me…that is also time when the Doughnuts Hole just eat, drink, and poop my money away, without any real return for me…I know I should want to invest in them  and sure they grow, and stuff, but who really benefits from that? They do!….Sure I can get a tax deduction for them..(least for now I can, beware the 2012 fiscal cliff)…but that doesn’t change the fact of the cost…Now I’ve been told…”You shouldn’t have them if you don’t want them. You knew they would cost and blah, blah, blah”…And I agree that I knew the price of child rearing…but that still doesn’t remove the want of cheap child related things…

Wouldn’t it be great if you could receive Being A Parent Discount on all the children related items in the stores…and the more children you have the bigger the discount…For I’m investing in the future, so I should be rewarded…Right?…And the better quality of my offspring, like honor roll, no juvenile delinquent behaviors, audio and visual pleasing….the bigger the discount would be and this would stack with long relationship discounts for those happy couples as well…I can see it now…Walking down the aisles at my favorite stores calm, soothing, shopping music playing over the loud speakers….getting half off for this, sixty percent off  for that, and for those real important thing…only ninety nine cents…And after I finished by shopping experience, I would be greeted by a nice customer loving cashier…who would greet me with

“Hello Mr. Doughnut. What can I get for your today?” Or “How was your shopping experience?”  And “I can see that you took advantage of the children going to bed early discount. That was quite the steal, but a well earned one for your part”….I would smile and look at the parents behind me in line who didn’t receive such great discounts. knowing that they would be envious of my great fortune and child rearing skills…But I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only one, I’d expect it would be several people utilizing this new service their children qualified them for…For who doesn’t like a deal?…

But that isn’t the case and there aren’t any discounts, so I’m forced to reality…the high prices of this gadgets or that fad as she is trying to maintain a level popularity or social life…that as a loving parent you suppose to support…Right? ..And that they (she included)  will thank me later and when I’m really up in age…will decide not to pawn me off to some nursing care center and visit me maybe three times a year (Father’s day, Birthday and Christmas)..But until that time, I will continue to struggle to get her what she needs and few things she want, provide her with challenges, and opportunities to make mistakes so that we (Sweet Tart and I) can uses these as discipline moments…Besides, the time will come when they house is empty and I will be laughing as the money collects in the bank, while my late reproducing family and friends are struggling to keep up with their technologically advanced, pocket draining, vacuum gutted young ones, while also trying to keep them happy and fulfilled.. I feel I have made the correct decision by starting young, I have the energy to deal with the struggle, the time to listen to the stories, and the tenacity to do it over and over again…Plus who does not like running through the house naked?

Monday…Monday…and it been a while since a Dozen was baked…but TODAY is a special day and Special Baker’s Dozen for ME..’Cause today’s A Doughnut’s Birthday and …this Dozen is All About ME…So let’s see why I enjoyed my birthday.…

 

 

  1. Life….the most obvious one…Today several years ago…Me Mum…gave birth to me…I baked in the oven forever and tore everything up coming out…least that’s I was told..Sorry Mum
  2. Presents….been many…many years since I received a birthday gift I really liked…Sweet Tart and the gang got me a new fishing tackle box…Finally a gift I can use….Guess what color it is?
  3. No Work…since Me Mum worked so hard on this date…I vowed not to work on the day if I could help it…So I was off today
  4. Songs…You know even if they were off key, interruptions, and repetitious, I Loved receiving and hearing that little melody…”Happy Birthday to You”…performed by my individual family, co-workers, and  friends…
  5. Eleven…the number of years it took for all  my co-worker to actually care enough to wish me a Happy Birthday
  6. Birthday Suit…Well born this way…I was greeted this way…Who knew Sweet Tart wore pink icing…Yum!
  7. Friendship…Always good to learn you have it…Even better when you can share it…
  8. Fishing…Oh, You knew I had to try out the tackle box…Worked great…I looked good carrying it…and plus…it kept me organized…Can’t fall in that way
  9. Five Dollars…Who said that a gift had be expensive…This was the best five dollars I ever received…Why?….Cause it bought me and Raisin Crème Pie lunch…What did we eat?…Let’s just say it was fulfilling ..
  10. Joke…This year…he didn’t’ forget nor as I too busy to answer…I got the joke from my brother and I owe him one on his birthday
  11. Notes…Well wishes greeted me at the door by the eldest…while also sharing credit with the boy…A pink poster board also marks the day and leaves a memory…Maybe Doughnut will take sprinkles this time
  12. Memories…This birthday will be one to remember…It will go in the good file, in front of the first true sexual experience…it feels good to replace the other birthday memories with this one…
  13. Hope…Today, I was given hope again…I felt that people really don’t care about you unless they are required to…and I should know better but that doesn’t mean I always do..This birthday was a sign that they do and I and Hopeful because  of it

I know this may seem confusing to some or stupid to other…but this Doughnut can say today that he is glad he is gotten older and added another wrinkle in his icing…

I like surprises…Well most surprises…Not the ones where you are caught with your pants down, or you come home and a lovely visitor is there…Someone you really would not like to see…and especially not spending some time with…But this not one of these times…this was what would fall into the good category….This day I received a call…a call I was not ready to received, but was glad it was made…You see, I started talking about Liver an Onion a few post back…and today I was notified that I was going to receive a new Liver…Well Liver was going to get a new liver…Since Doughnuts don’t have livers…Either way, that was the news and I was surprised…Now I felt we would be ready for such news but…hmm quickly realized that I wasn’t and Liver and Onion surely wasn’t…I thought he was (told me he was)…but when the decision was needed…he was really more hesitant than I thought he would be…Shit, if I needed new fillings to be here (pointing to injecting site)..I’m like “fill me up”…But I am different…so I’m told…So after discussing with Liver and Onion about the pros and cons, awaiting on another explanation from the doctor…and not listening to Onion’s reasoning for not doing it..Liver gave the ok…Now this is where the wave of thoughts flooded my brain…tsunami style…Am I ready for this? What do I suppose to do now? You want… who to go with us? I don’t have time for babysitting…please be grown up today.

 

After making arrangements for overnights for Onion, cause she couldn’t dare ask her onion seeds to let her stay at his home, making arrangement for the holes to stay with Mom…and the Sweet Tart joining me for support, we were off…the ride was quite different…two hours of silence, thought provoking conversation and enjoying NPR (National Public Radio)…Right?…Nope!…They talked, and discussed all types of things..some made me laugh, others made me wonder, but hey this could be Liver’s last day so I will not complain…

 

Then once we get there we receive another surprise, I hate these…the hurry up and wait surprise…Huh?  Why did you have me rush only to wait…don’t you understand that waiting is the worst part of anything…the anticipation, the unknown, the feeling of anger that builds while others go before you….”Will you hurry the fuck up already!!!” I’ve got things to do…Sheesh..He’s dying right here (big finger pointing over his head)…so what that pale, fragile looking, hairless girl’s here for the same reason…It my Liver! Damn It!! And I need service NOW!”…Ok, these thoughts did fill my mind, but I’m to smooth or have too much swagger to say them out loud…I have to be civilized…Right?…after a hour or so of waiting…lost track after they changed shifts..We were admitted to a room…Then the real reason I was placed on this Earth revealed itself…I was here to be aggravated by Onion…who not only have degrees in every know science there is..She’s also is a specialist in men’s health (read one old book), internal medicine…Especially concerning the Liver…Onion not only aggravated the living hell out of me….she stunk up the place with her constant peeling, and peeling and peeling..”The nurses didn’t know what they were doing because they used the measurement MG versus CC…The PA.. poor, clueless, lady was trapped underneath the layer of hypothetical, unrelated and absurd accusation..The more she tried to get away by answering Onion’s question, or using superior customer service skills, the more Onion peeled on her..I finally had enough and released her..and she literally ran out of the room..Being who I am, I trying to justify Onion’s actions…Why is she acting like this? Don’t she understand EVERYONE…family and friends are just concerned about Liver as she is…if something goes wrong… she lose a husband…(had two before, plus you threaten to leave him so many times before)..But I will lose… My Liver…I have been here a lot longer than you..So stop acting so irrational, unstable and plan Loco…

 

Well after all the fiasco was over…I finally was able to find out some serious things about my Liver wishes. That I thought I knew already…DNR (do not resituate) was not his plan…as long as he can return like himself…keep him alive, otherwise let him go…It was hard to hear this..but hey it’s his life..and only a Liver right? …So now w e wait…and wait…family member come by, others call to send their best wishes..Face Book and other social media filling up…well wisher galore…this also was a surprise for Liver..he also though no one gave a Damn about him..only a selected few..but now he was able to see he had a purpose..or lest meant something to people…Getting flowers while you are alive is a great joy…The waiting went on for several more hours (4 am in the morning to be exact)…then found out we were literally waiting someone to pass so that Liver can get a new one…Death..waiting on you to claim your victim..so we can avoid you once more…Well Death claimed his victim and…shorted us also…”The liver was not suitable”..and we had to go home…Sigh!!..Damn!!…Onion was so glad, I was not..I’m not wanting things to get worst for him and then we watch him die slowly..I know how that is..Uncle Chunk taught me this…But hey, that the way the Doughnut crumbles and I know now I must obtain a medical power of attorney for Liver…Since Onion’s focus is on herself and not reality…

Missing Dozen….

Yawn”…two Mondays and the lists have not came…and for this I am very ashamed…but every time I bake a dozen… and that week I could not deliver… I sat there and cried myself a river…Now this caused the Doughnuts to be soggy…and then I felt so very foggy….Why? I don’t know….maybe because I need to release the flow….of things that whisper within my head…and with out medication I can hear what they said….To do things that I should not do…To make decision that would turn things blue…And though this is my favorite Color…I would rather discuss things like my lover…She is sweet and tart as she can be…And the only one for me…I can not see her with another…For without her each day would be like the other…Time would past without a care and this would surly cause people to stare…As I would aimlessly walk around…With a smile that’s upside down…My eyes would leak….And others would too….But the difference would be their leaks would be blue…So now that I can bake again…The oven is hot and welcoming…It only take a week and not two…To bake not dozen for you…

Fulfilled….

Often, I wonder if I ‘m doing what I’m suppose to do…

There is a nagging feeling that I was meant to do something else…..

That there was a calling for me to be “The One…That somebody..”

I don’t know what it is and this is what bothers me…

Believe me I’m grateful for all I have and appreciate all I have been given and done…But I can’t help but feel that emptiness…

So I search…

I look and try different things…but haven’t put my finger on it yet….

As I make my mark, I want to be able to say, “I live a fulfilled life“…

Then I look at what I have and realize it’s about as fulfilled as it gonna be…

I have a remarkable wife…wonderful kids….and a very supportive bunch of family and friends…

I have been blessed with good health…

And though I do have aches and pains…they are not life threatening….

So if I would died today…though I would be sad that I didn’t get to fulfill all my hopes and dreams…I wouldn’t be totally sad…

I would be able to tell whom ever I saw in the afterlife that I have lived and I am Doughnut….

That I have left behind several people that I am proud of…

 

I am proud of my Sweet Tart…She have endured a lot of hardship, aches, pains, some self brought, but most brought to her.. She endured and played the cards she was dealt…Often I have seen the tears flow from her cheeks and want to stop what caused them, but I could not…I have also watched as she gave me gifts that no other could…the gift of life…each time this occurred, it brought me closure to her and also made me glad she choose me..

 

I am proud of my eldest…though I try to teach her life lesson, she often teaches me….I am not the most affectionate person, but she have taught me how to receive a hug a day and enjoy the embrace…I have learned that my words do hold value and strikes deep…especially in the eyes of one that love you so…I have great dreams for her and regardless of what she becomes in life…I know it will be a great

 

I am proud of son…I recall the day he was born…I was proud and truly understood what my father meant when he reminisced on the day that I was given life…I didn’t celebrate the same way…but I felt the same…I know I’m hard on him and quite often he feels that I don’t care…But I do and with every challenge I’m pushing him to be what he want to be…a man

 

I am proud of my middle girl…she is quite young now and still developing…she may feel that I’m not watching but I am…I’m observing her style, be intellect, her wit…traits I see in her mother…I know she will do great in life and though she will suffer some due to the cruelness of the world…she will be strong, endure and rise to the top…

 

I am proud of my baby girl…she is quite the combination…I am enjoying her development…her way of absorbing life around her and enjoying it…each new sound, taste, and smell…I watch as she processes it…how quickly she have learned to control her environment…These things I am proud of…these things I know are signs of great things to come…

 

I often talk about death because it’s one of those things that surly will occur…But for each day my Sweet Tart and Doughnut Holes live, is a day I die…but death isn’t scary when your surrounded by those who really love you… for being you.

In  a few days I would be revisiting a time in my life when I embarked on a journey…made a decision that would not only affect, impact, and alter my world; but the world of all those who were apart of my inner circle.  I had been participating in activities that I knew were risky, but I didn’t care …I enjoyed the company, was excited by the sense of adventure, and loved the feelings I were receiving by being an active participant…however like all things in life the consequences for those action have to be addressed…I was later informed that my actions lead to the development of one of my 1st dilemmas…A message was delivered that I was going to have an additional title…one that I was not really ready to have, but I was willing to embrace…this was a good thing, least I told myself, I was nervous, I was scared, and I was clueless…But I was determined that I was not going to embark on any journey alone, as I had witnessed this and it was not an easy task…family meant too much to me…Now was I ready to do this? Was I ready to become intertwined with another individual? Was I ready for a life long commitment? Shit, I didn’t know…I felt I was…I consulted with my counselors (superior officers, friends, and associates) and they all gave different advice…some I liked…others I didn’t…But the ultimate decision was mine to make…So I did…I had made plans in my mind of what I would do to address the difference…For I am doughnut and she is a sweet tart…Well let’s say that my plans didn’t not go as planned but…Like I said they did work out…

 

In a few days, fourteen years ago…I would pick up a burden…but a blessing…I would become responsible for not only myself, but other individuals…When I look back today, I do not regret my decision…I don’t regret the blessing that have been given to me…and the pain I have endured…I would do it again, but this time I would not run away to become one…least not without engaging in  a longer chase…as the chase is what makes things fun..

 

So thank you sweet tart…thank you for the years or service, the ups and downs on the roller coaster, the excitement and the boredom of learning a new language, the doughnut holes,  the reminders, the hugs and the kisses, the opportunity to witness the inner working of sweet tarts, the opportunity to educate and be educated, and for being my best female friend…love you and see you on the other side of the oven

Give Me A “M!”…Give Me A “O!”…Give Me A “N!”…Give Me A “Day!”…What does that Spell?…Well it’s Monday and that time again for the List…Today’s Doughnut’s Dozen is all about things that make me Cheer…Yes, Doughnut’s can Cheer…I’m not sourdough…So check it out and see if you can Cheer with me

 

  1. Cheerleaders…Well really cute ones with big smiles and sweet lovely lady lumps…Ok, I may not care for who’s winning, but who don’t like an age appropriate cheerleader…I’m jaded not a pedophile..
  2. Seeing a little child achieving a milestone…i.e. walking, crawling or even projectile vomiting on a caregiver…I know it’s a little weird but can you do it?
  3. Beating a big boss on a video game…that feeling of accomplishment after hours or ignoring my family is so worth the couch I have to sleep on for a few days…
  4. Feeding my family a meal I prepared and they truly enjoy it…I know chicken, sweet potatoes, raisins, and marshmallows don’t sound good…but try it first
  5. Watching someone fail when “I Told Ya So”…now I guess this makes me a little evil…But Hey…”I Did TELL Ya So”…I don’t like pain, but some do…So I cheer when they fail…just not out loud…well, least not in their face…
  6. Planting, tending, and eating from my garden…that sense of eating something I toiled over is even stronger when mother Earth assisted with this accomplishment
  7. When the Doughnut Holes do something they are really proud of…no matter what it is…I cheer inside and sometimes outside…can’t let them know I’m a big softy to stuff like this…
  8. Learning something new…I get happy when I learn something new and amazing…like today I learned that there are entire stores…made just for female weave…not the little shops from where I’m from but…several hundred square feet stores…plus the selection of hair…I can’t even comment on
  9. Spending time with the sweet tart…lately she have been more sweet then tart…and I LIKE it…
  10. Being able to pay my way without “Robbing Peter to pay Paul”…This is a goal of mine, as the current economy have taken a real toll on my life…but when I achieve this I will really be able to cheer
  11. Watching a biological family achieve true permanency….this goal often does not happen due to the environment we are currently in, but when it does, it make the job worth it
  12. Birthdays…Each year I get older…I don’t cheer but when other’s do I do…especially the Doughnut Holes…I want them to get older…soon I will have my house back..
  13. Seeing an old classmate that I haven’t seen in a while…Meeting old friends/acquaintances is a true pleasure for me…The stories they share…the questions I ask…and the times…”Aww”…My little cheerleader inside does a couple of backwards flips with quarter half turns..

Well these are few of the things that make me cheer…how about you?